Jessie, 110892.
{♥} Girly facts: I like my nails to be coloured, I love bright and attractive colours, I like all polka dots, leopard prints and flowery patterns. Sunflowers and helium balloons definitely help to bring smile onto my face.
I don’t know. I mean, I want to be his friend, but then again I don’t, you know? I mean, how can you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them, you’re thinking about how much more you really want?
If anyone asks, I’ll tell them we both just moved on. When people all stare I’ll pretend that I don’t hear them talk. Whenever I see you, I’ll swallow my pride and bite my tongue, pretend I’m okay with it all, act like there’s nothing wrong.
I can’t fight for you anymore. I want you, I really do. But lately this is just feeling more and more like an uphill battle and honestly, I don’t have the strength I used to. I wasn’t made for this.
It doesn’t matter how much I wish, or how much I feel, or how much I know. It doesn’t matter that I feel like you’re the only one for me. It doesn’t matter that you’re all I think about, all I talk about, and all that I am. It doesn’t matter if I can’t share it with you. Nothing I feel matters if I can’t share it with you. Nothing I do matters if you aren’t a part of it. I can write or talk all I want, but that doesn’t make you mine. Just because I love you the same way I used to doesn’t mean you come running back to me. It doesn’t matter that I realized my mistake, that I realized that you’re my one and only, if I can’t have you. Just because I love you doesn’t make you love me. Writing about you doesn’t make you love me. I could say all the nicest things in the world, and spill my whole heart out, but if you didn’t care, it wouldn’t even matter.
I lost my phone and I’m very sad. I think I’m so used to having an iPhone and now that I lost it, I’m so lost. Wonder what will happen if I’m so used to having C around and when he’s gone in army, I bet I’ll be so fucking lost :(
You absolutely destroyed me, did you know that? But you know what, I just wanna say thank you. I don’t regret meeting you, but I don’t wish you would magically come back into my life again because I believe God gives us someone like this for a reason. Someone who will hurt you a million times, someone who will leave you & not look back. But this person, they will make you a better person in the end. You will come out stronger than ever before and you will be happier without him than you were with him.
